Mount Villarica

At the start

On our backsides

Arise and shine at 6am. A coffee, a Saturday morning cooking programme, Football Focus. No chance. For today we don’t do regular, we climb a 2200m snow covered live Volcano.

Along with the other attendees we gather in the kitchen with our energy drinks ready and sensible breakfast.. We get the briefing about the day ahead as we meet the ‘expert’ guides that will help us achieve today’s mission.

Outside the minibus is ready to take us as we climb into our orange outer gear which makes us all look like extras from London’s Burning including waterproof windshield, trousers and the heaviest boots known to man (and goths). We are also provided with other goodies in a backpack that we all have to carry and use for different parts of the trek.

At the Volcano base, there’s an option to take a chairlift for an easier start which most of the group take bar two brave souls. Getting off the chairlift was scary, jump off and avoid the oncoming chairs from behind by running out of the way was the first of many challenges of the day.

The trip leaders observe the surface and conditions and decide that we would need our crampons, helmets and ice picks…just like the professionals on TV.

Climbing up was slow but that was the way to do it in diagnal lines so if we slipped we wouldn’t take down whoever was behind. Short breaks for the dullest sandwiches and sips of energy juices were most welcome.

After an hour the temperature increases and more suncream is added. Taking off the shades are really hurting the eyes now. We dared not drop them as if we did, there’s only one way they’d fall and there would be no rushing to rescue them.

The top is looming. Another stop please. It’s not a race y’know? We stay at the back like the unhealthy fat kids in a school race.

The top appears closer after about 3 hours of diagonal walking. We can see the smoke bellowing and ushering us nearer.

We’ve done it. ‘We Was Ere’ High fives all around together with  wide smiles follow swiftly by collapsing to the ground. This was a Kodak moment  to enjoy but not for long as it smells rather unpleasant due to the sulphar fumes from the Volcano. Yes. we were on top of a Volcano.

Now we were feeling rather smart, we had done the hard slog. Getting down we’d heard that you simply slid on your butt down the mountain. Great we thought, we’d be home in no time.

We put on more items from the bag, gloves and a nappy type costume that went round the back of you.

So we had to slide down on your backside via paths that had already been created. This looked fun and easy. With a kickstart courtesy of the ice pick, we’re offfffff! you become simply a human bobsleigh. Wow it’s fast.

Crash. Stop, Spin…try again.

There were times when slope wasn’t ideal for sliding so walking was easier option but found it harder as it’s tougher on the knees and of courseva tad slippy. When you land on your backside for the umpteenth time the waterproof trousers are indeed being tested.

We ended up further behind the rest of the crowd as now people were sliding past at various speeds.

Every now and then we’d try the sliding method but were encouraged to form human team bobsleigh’s instead of  solitary ones. There were a few successful take offs and flights and this became rather amusing crashing into the back of complete strangers with only ice between you. You could only get away with this on a Volcano.

Now with water in my shoe and lots of it. Too cold and awkward to fix it. Nevermind. Carry on like a trooper. Even though you are the slow fat kid at the back. Then in comedy fashion, the left shoe comes off. I struggle to get the moon boot back on helped out eventually by one of the guides who I think was rather peeved that I’d slowed him down. Not quite mountain rescue but still grateful.

With the luxury once again of 2 boots  I plodded along at my own pace, water gushing inside and falling over at regular intervals. It was hard staying up so I tried sliding myself down with my ice pick to pull me along (should be watching Football Focus now) but it was proving tough with just my own thrust.

This was definitely the toughest part of the walk/slide. I had imagined that sliding down would have made this part a whole lot easier but it wasn’t like sliding down your local park hillside.

Eventually I left the snow environment and continued to finish towards the starting point over the rocky surface and viewed our minibus with relief. I sat in the bus with water still in my shoe but by this time it didn’t matter. The expedition was complete.

Greeted with beers at the hostel as we unclothed and rung out the water from our gear and dried off.

Rather fittingly we ended the night with dips in some natural hot water springs…it’s what you do after climbing. a volcano.

My team had lost again. Just like another Saturday.

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